'Grief does not know religion, ethnicity or belief’  – these were the words of Mohamed Omer, Chair of the National Burial Council, at Child Bereavement UK’s conference ‘Cultural perspectives on supporting children and young people’ in Birmingham on 23 June.

Nearly 200 professionals who work with grieving families came together in person and via live stream to hear from speakers with diverse cultural experiences to explore how cultural considerations and beliefs can affect how children and young people grieve and to inform best practice in bereavement support. 

Addressing the conference, which was sponsored by the National Lottery Fund, Kartar Singh Bring, Head of Chaplaincy at the University of Leicester and Leicestershire Partnership Trust, spoke from a Sikh perspective on how spiritual framing of death and dying can be helpful and give children a way to use spiritual stories to channel thinking about loss. 

Reverend Cassius Francis, Christian Spiritual Care and Chaplaincy Lead with Birmingham Women’s and Children’s NHS Trust, and Jedine Pendley-Dale, Co-pastor at New Way Christian Centre, addressed how children and young people of African Caribbean heritage are included in death and dying practices and traditions. They suggested that finding better ways to support Black children could provide important lessons for working effectively with the wider population. 

Remi Martin, emergent researcher with the Open University, spoke about her research into the lived experience of racially minoritised people in the aftermath of bereavement, calling for an approach that recognises factors that can intersect with grief. She also called for greater representation in support in terms of services and materials. 

The conference also heard from Madhuri Bedi who spoke about the experience of sibling loss in South Asian communities, including in her own family. She shared how  through her work with Sands she has found ways for siblings to be involved in special occasions and remember a brother or sister who has died.  

Paidamoyo Mandiamba, who was supported by Child Bereavement UK after her son Liam died aged two-and-a-half, spoke next about how children and young people are supported with their grief and included in the Shona and Ndebele cultures in Zimbabwe, and how she and her family navigated their grief in the UK.  

In the afternoon session, Nicola Marshall spoke about her experience of bereavement and funerals in 1970s Liverpool and compared it with the celebratory funeral of her son Lucas, who died aged 12. She told the conference; ‘Grief isn’t the absence of life, it’s the evidence of it.'

Mohamed Omer, Chair of the National Burial Council, spoke about Muslim requirements for death and burial and his work with the Gardens of Peace to include children more fully in grieving practices.

The conference was closed by Parris Sailsman from Journal to Dreams who spoke about the cultural pressure on Black Caribbean youth to be strong and how this can affect their opportunities to grieve.

Maninder Hayre, Director of Services and Partnerships for Child Bereavement UK said:

‘We were pleased to welcome so many professionals, both online and in person, to our conference and to create a space to discuss how inequalities can impact on bereaved families. We heard several times across the day, for instance, how families from South Asian and Black backgrounds, are disproportionately affected by stillbirth and neonatal death.

'This conference was a valuable opportunity to examine how we can make services more equitable and to consider the actions we must all take to ensure no-one grieves alone by creating services that engage with, represent and support all communities.'

Child Bereavement UK supports families and trains professionals, rebuilding lives when a child grieves or when a child dies. For more information: childbereavementuk.org