Supporting a child on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day

Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and other special days can be really difficult for children and young people who have lost a parent or another special role model in their life. From adverts to social media posts, it can be difficult to avoid Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and there can often be unwelcome reminders that their parent is no longer here. 

However, a child or young person feels and whatever they want to do on these dates, there is no right or wrong, but it can be an opportunity to remember their parent.

You can read more about ways our Youth Team remember their parents on Father’s Day and watch our animation about ways to remember someone who has died.  

Ways grieving families can remember someone on an important day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day

• Make a special card in memory of your mum or dad 
• Take a special card to their grave or to where their ashes are
• Blow some bubbles and imagine they can carry a message to them 
• Plant some bulbs or a shrub in a place that holds special memories of your mum or dad 
• Cook their favourite meal
• Listen to their favourite music
• Put something in a memory box that reminds you of them 
• Create a digital memory board of special photos 
• Ask family members for their memories of your mum or dad
• Write them a letter or a poem or a song

On days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, grieving children and young people may experience lots of different emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, or even guilt. As their parent or carer, your support can make a big difference to how they navigate these days. It’s completely normal if they seem absolutely fine one minute and then burst into tears the next, each child or young person will feel differently in the lead up to and on these dates. 

If they’re open to recognising the day, encourage them to talk about their feelings, share memories, or express themselves through creative activities like those listed above. Let them know that it’s okay to celebrate, to cry, or to feel nothing at all. Most importantly, remind them that they are not alone and that however they choose to mark the day, their grief is valid, and you will support them in whatever they choose to do.  

Some children and young people may choose to ignore the day completely, which is also completely okay. It’s likely that their views of these significant dates may change from year to year, so it’s important not to assume how they will be feeling and to always check in with them and ask what they would like to do this time around. 

If you’d like to remember your mum or dad and support Child Bereavement UK at the same time, you can dedicate a flower in our Memory Meadow, create a special online dedication, or explore our giving in memory area.