Summary Expand We hope you have found this pre-course material useful and insightful. More importantly, we hope you feel a little more confident and competent to respond to one of the most demanding situations – the death of a baby or child. It is for you to reflect on what you have learned, and what you are going to do differently in future. Remember there is a bank of helpful information for you and for families on Child Bereavement UK’s website and you can always call our Helpline in confidence on 0800 02 888 40 – or refer families to the line for guidance and support. Here is a summary of the most important feedback that parents have given Child Bereavement UK: Do Let parents be with their child. Remember brothers and sisters Treat parents equally, and involve them in important decisions Recognise that men and women may often react differently Refer to the child by name Be factual Tell the truth – and be honest about what you don’t know Respect the fact that parents’ sense of duty to their child continues after death Give parents permission to express their feelings Allow time for parents to ask questions Check that parents have understood what you have told them – clarify medical jargon Enquire about the parents’ beliefs, what they need, what may be available Reassure parents that their child’s body will be treated with respect and dignity during the post-mortem examination, and that nothing can be retained without their consent Agree with parents when and where they will see you or a consultant again Give parents your name and contact details in writing Explain where support is available once back in the community and any available ongoing support from the hospital, local/national bereavement services/helplines and so on Don’t Hurry parents “Protect” them from what is happening Hide your emotions from parents Assume that parents will understand everything you say or do: you’ll sometimes have to repeat the same explanation several different times Assume that families know that everything possible has been done… if you don’t tell them Use medical jargon Rush away after giving bad news Assume there is a right way to grieve
Further reading Expand Further help Making Critical Decisions for your BabyBliss, London. www.bliss.org.ukwww.bliss.org.uk On the Death of a Child 2nd edition, Celia HindmarchRadcliffe Medical Press 2000 ISBN-13: 978-1857754452 Handbook of Bereavement Margaret S Stroebe, Wolfgang Stroebe, Robert O Hansson (eds)Cambridge University Press 1993 ISBN-13: 978-0521393157 Grief Counselling and Grief Therapy 4th edition, J William WordenRoutledge 2009 ISBN-13: 978-0415559997 The Challenge of Breaking Bad News Michael FarrellIntensive & Critical Care Nursing issue 15 (1999) Post-mortem examination: Code of practice and standards Human Tissue AuthoritySeptember 2017 https://content.hta.gov.uk/sites/default/files/2020-11/Code%20B.pdf Perspectives on Palliative Care for Children and Young People (chapter 18), edited by Rita Pfund and Susan Fowler-KerryRadcliffe Publishing 2010 ISBN-13: 978-1846193330 Continuing Bonds: New Understandings of Grief edited by Dennis Klass, Phyllis R Silverman and Steven L NickmanTaylor and Francis 1996 ISBN-13: 978-1560323396 Crucial Decisions at the Beginning of Life – Parents’ experiences of treatment withdrawal from infants, Hazel E McHaffieRadcliffe Medical Press 2001 ISBN-13: 978-1857754797 Supporting bereaved families through neonatal death and beyond Ian WoodroffeFetal and Neonatal Medicine 2012 (awaiting publication)
And finally... Expand Click below to play video, which will open in a new browser tab. You have now worked through all the pre-course material, thank you. Return to menu