Children who’ve been in school classrooms may have used something similar to our grief chart. Teachers might use a similar chart to gauge how the class is feeling or how hard the pupils have been working. Creating a grief chart allows you, as the adult supporting the child, to start a conversation about emotions by talking about the chart rather than the child. Often, children can find it difficult to talk about their feelings but if you can attach the conversation to an activity or item, they may be more willing to chat.

Alongside the grief chart, you can also make a coping wheel – this is something you can use to suggest ways to express the child’s emotions or grief if they find it helpful.

For more advice, please see our resources on supporting a bereaved child, where you will also find information on children's understanding of death at different ages. 

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You will need:

• Paper
• Pens/pencils
• Scissors (and a helpful grown up)
• Blu tack (or similar)
• Split pin or paper clip

Instructions to make a grief chart:

1. To make your own grief chart, start by talking about emotions in general and select a few key feelings (you can always add more). You can print out images of emojis, or simply draw shapes and colour them to represent the emotions you’ve chosen. Next, cut out your shapes so they can move around. 
   

2. On a sheet of paper, draw out a vertical line on one side (like a height chart!), and mark out evenly spaced notches and numbers from 0 to 10. This is where you can rate your emotions. Draw a box above or below the chart where the emotions can sit while they’re not in use – a bit like a car park!

   

3. Attach small pieces of Blu Tack or similar reusable adhesive to the back of them. Now you can start by ‘parking the emotions’ and then adding emotions to the chart as and when you feel a different way.

4. Grief can sometimes feel like a big mix of emotions and sometimes it can feel empty of emotion, similar to feeling numb. It is completely okay if you can’t name your emotions, and it’s also okay if you choose to put every emotion at the same level.

Alongside your grief chart, you could add a coping wheel. The wheel will offer ways to express emotions and can be used on its own or with the chart.

Instructions to make a coping wheel:

1. Take two pieces of paper, draw a big circle on each and cut them out. Next, cut a pizza slice shape out of one of the circles, then draw pizza slice sections on the full circle.

   

2. Your pizza slice circle is going to be the top layer. Decorate this however you like and write ‘coping wheel’ if you want to.

3. Take the full circle (with pizza slice lines on it) and write some ways to express grief on each pizza section.
   For example: write a letter, listen to music, look at photos, go outside, talk about memories, hug it out. These are just ideas, but you can write whatever you think would suit you.

   

4. Place the coping wheel (with a missing slice) on top of your full circle with ideas on. If you have a split pin, poke it through the centre of both circles and fold it flat on the back to attach the two circles. If you have a paper clip, make a small cut with scissors through the centre of both circles and slide a paper clip from the centre across the two layers of circles (see picture at the top of this page). Now you should be able to spin your top circle and choose the idea you’d like to try to help express your grief and emotions

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Our short animated film aims to help children and young people cope with difficult feelings like sadness, anger, worry and guilt. The film explains why it’s a good idea to release your emotions safely so that the pressure doesn‘t build up.