Mark Seldon writes about his long involvement with the work of Child Bereavement UK 

Throughout the Charity’s history, all of its knowledge has come from the practical experience of listening to and learning from the people we support.

I first became involved with the Charity in 1992, some 2 years before its formal launch, when, as a sole practitioner Chartered Accountant, I provided professional support to the founder in establishing it as a Registered Charity, under the name of The Child Bereavement Trust.

Following its formal launch in 1994 at the Royal College of Nursing, I took on the formal role of independent auditor and also provided the Trustees with general financial management advice and support.

As the Charity grew, I was able to relinquish my 'independent auditor’s hat' and get involved on the inside, primarily providing more in-depth financial management support and guidance to the Trustees. Shortly thereafter in 2002, I was invited to join the Board as a Trustee becoming Acting Chairman from March 2012 to September 2013.

I finally retired as a Trustee in February 2022 after nearly 30 years involvement with the Charity and then had the honour of being asked to become a Patron.

Throughout my long association with the Charity, as is evident from my brief resume, my main focus, as an accountant, has been on financial matters and, I am proud to have been a part of the dedicated team that, during this time, enabled its Balance Sheet to grow from 'nothing' to having sustainable Reserves and with a presence throughout the UK. That represents a considerable amount of change and development over the years in the services it provides and, using technology, the way in which they are delivered.

I am fortunate in that I have never personally suffered any unexpected family bereavement either as a child or as a parent, but this meant that I was ignorant of the challenges facing bereaved families in the early years. However, though my interaction with those working directly with bereaved families, it became clear to me very early on that there was little support or pragmatic advice available and that there was a potentially huge need for the kind of services envisaged.

An early memory of mine was attending an event at the House of Lords where our then Honorary President, Countess Mountbatten, spoke without a note of her extraordinarily bad experience when she lost a baby in the 1950’s and, as she spoke, one realised that even someone at her level had had to deal with that lack of support. This had a powerful impact on me as a listener.

When I attended conferences and events, I continued to find it extremely emotional just to listen to how people dealt with their grief. Naturally, people today still find it difficult to cope with grieving, but fortunately, thanks to the efforts of Child Bereavement UK and other organisations, public awareness of the challenges facing grieving families and access to bereavement support are much greater today.

Since the Charity started, it has very much moved with the times offering support in different ways such as online and via Live Chat. But it is important to be aware that, throughout the Charity’s history, all of its knowledge has come from the practical experience of listening to and learning from the people we support.

Thanks to my time at Child Bereavement UK, I now feel bold enough to talk to people who have suffered bereavement, not to avoid the subject and to advise them of who they could talk to if they needed help and support and, importantly, I have learned the value of really listening.

Mark is a Patron of Child Bereavement UK, visit his Patron's page to find out more. 

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