Young people supported by Child Bereavement UK have put together some tips to help other children and young people get a better night’s sleep.

Stick to regular bedtime

Try and stick to a regular bedtime and waking up time, even at weekends. 

Turn off your devices

Blue screens and lights from mobile phones can upset your natural sleep rhythm and body clock. Devices like phones, laptops and games can also make us think we’re still in work or play mode, so it can help to turn them off an hour before bedtime and give your brain a chance to relax. 

Have a bedtime routine

A bedtime routine can help your body get ready for sleep. This could include having a milky drink, avoiding sugar or caffeine before bedtime, brushing your teeth, washing your face with warm water, having a relaxing bath or shower, brushing your hair, or using skin care products that have relaxing smells such as lavender, if this suits you. 

Dim the lights

Dim light can let your brain know it’s time to sleep. Some people find it helpful to listen to some gentle music and some find a meditation app helps them to relax. 

Use an eye mask

An eye mask can block out external distractions and any light from outside which might come into your room and keep you awake. See the shapes with light your eyes make when closed. Concentrate on these and feel yourself sink into your bed. 

Try ear plugs

If you are distracted by noise, it can be helpful to try earplugs to block out any unwanted sounds that might wake you or keep you awake.

Stay hydrated

A small glass of water before bedtime can help you stay hydrated - a warm milky drink has the added advantage of making you feel relaxed. 

Get your pyjamas on

Getting into your pyjamas encourages your body to wind down for bed.

Keep your bedroom at an even temperature

It can help you to sleep if your room is not too cold and not too warm.

Do something relaxing

An activity such as a mindfulness colouring book, reading a book or listening to music can help you relax. Try to avoid watching television or using your phone at bedtime as this can stimulate the brain rather than relax it.

Write down your thoughts

Having lots of thoughts in your head can stop you from falling to sleep. It can help to write your thoughts in a journal before bed. If you are thinking about things you need to remember, keep a notepad and pencil by the bed so you can jot anything down that pops into your mind and not worry that you’ll forget in the morning. 

Cuddle something

Some people find cuddling up to a pillow, cushion, blanket or a soft toy is helpful.  

Be kind to yourself

If negative thoughts are stopping you from sleeping, writing down the things that are worrying you and listing things you can control can be helpful. For instance, you might be worried about talking about your grief but you can control who you choose to tell and how much you tell them. It can also help to turn round your negative thoughts about yourself and think about whether you’d say the same about a friend. 

Write a gratitude journal

Even when things are tough it can be helpful to try to think of and write down three things that you are grateful for. These might be small things like: your warm bed; something kind someone said; or the company of your family pet - it doesn’t matter what it is. This exercise can help to focus on more positive thoughts as you fall to sleep.

Use a meditation app

There are lots of meditation apps aimed at young people that can help you to relax from head to toe before bed. Here are some you could try:

• 13 Minutes Body Scan Meditation for Teens and Adults
• Meditation for Teenagers Stress and Anxiety - guided meditation for teens

And if you can’t sleep?

Don’t be hard on yourself if you can’t sleep or if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep. But try not to force yourself to sleep - perhaps you could listen to some calming music, read for a while or write in your journal. If your worries are preventing you from sleeping on a regular basis, talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling. 

And remember...

Even when you’re in bed and not sleeping, your body is resting, so try to be patient and kind to yourself.

In addition to the suggestions above, young people we've supported have come up with other tips for managing grief which you may like to read.

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