When someone dies you may have things you wish you’d said to them, feelings you want to let out, or you may want to write down things you miss about that person. A way to do this is to write a letter to the person who has died.

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You will need:

• A piece of paper or note book
• A pen or pencil  

Instructions:

1. Begin by thinking what you would like to write in your unsent letter. Some ideas might include: 

• Things you would like to have said to your important person before they died
• Things you miss about that person
• How you are feeling
• How you feel about the person who died, for example if you feel angry towards them
• Things you would like to know, for example information about how they died

2. Start to write your letter on your piece of paper or in your note pad. There are no right or wrong things to put in your unsent letter, it’s up to you what you would like to write. It’s important to take your time as this can be a difficult thing to do, maybe you could write a few things at a time rather than writing it all in one go. 

3. Once you have written your unsent letter, it’s up to you what you do with it. You can keep it private, maybe in a memory box, and read it when you want to. You can share it with someone you trust and maybe they can help to answer your questions or talk about your feelings. You could do something symbolic with your letter, such as taking it to a special place, putting it on a grave, tearing it up or burying it in the garden. 

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Watch our short animated film which helps children, young people and adults understand grief and how to manage it.