Life quiz Memories of the person who died may be difficult for a child to bring to mind. This may be because the child was very young when the person died and few memories remain. It may be because some memories are painful to recall. Or it may be that the process of deferring grief has – temporarily – closed the door to the place where your child has kept their feelings and memories tightly shut away. A ‘life quiz’ can be a way of exploring some of these memories and gently helping them out into the light. It is also a great way of adding to the store of stories a child may have about the person who died. These stories and memories become increasingly precious to children; and have a particularly important part to play for children who were very young when their special person died. When few memories remain – or when there are none - stories take their place in building up a picture of the person. The intention is to help the child to remember the interesting and intriguing person who lived rather than only focusing on their death. You will need: A piece of paper or note book A pen or pencil Instructions: Sit down with your child and help them think about what they would like to know about the person and what questions they can ask other people about them. It works best when families think of their own questions. It’s important, if possible, that the child has to ask around for the answers – or try to recall their own memories – rather than get all the answers from one person.Questions could include: What was this person’s favourite colour? What was the first band/solo artist they saw live? What was their favourite sort of takeaway? What was their favourite item of clothing? If they controlled the TV remote, what did everyone have to watch? What sport (if any) were they best at? And what sport did they like watching best? (was this the same when they were a teenager?) Did they have a favourite team or player? If they had to do karaoke, what song would they have chosen? What flavour ice cream would they have chosen out of every flavour in the world? What was the naughtiest thing they did at school? What was their best (and worst) subject at school? Did they have a pet as a child? If so, what was its name? What was the funniest thing they ever did? Did they have a party trick? Did they ever meet anyone famous? When they were little, what did they want to be when they grew up? What else happened in the world on the day they were born? What was the very best thing about them? We have deliberately kept this list non-specific by saying ‘this person' and using ‘they’ and ‘their’. Please customise with the person’s name when using the questions. 2. Write the chosen questions down on the piece of paper or in the note pad. 3. Encourage your child to now go and find the answers to their quiz, recording down any answers they remember or receive from other people. If allowed to do so, the child may need to ring up Uncle Joe or message Grandma. In this way, the stories they hear become intertwined with memories and help to sustain a vivid sense of their important person. A quiz can form one way to mark an anniversary – maybe of the person’s birth or the day they died. The answers to the life quiz questions can be kept in a child’s memory box or memory book to be drawn out from time to time. If your child is bereaved of a parent, you may also find it helpful to download one of our books - My Mum and Me and My Dad and Me This short animated film suggests ways that children and young people can remember someone important to them who has died. Manage Cookie Preferences